Monday, November 16, 2009

Pope Cam...

Who else can tout one of those? Holy liver still hates me.

Raleigh SSCXWC from Saleigh on Vimeo.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Dear Lord Why? Knowing full well what is going to happen to me at SSCXWC every year...Why do I go? I liken it to the Laboratory Hamster who just can't figure out why the pellet dispenser continually shocks it...time...after time...after time... It just keeps going back for more.

This year, was different.
This year, was going to be the last year it was going to be in Portland.
This year, after the mud was removed and the hang over wore off...the knowledge would sink in that SSCXWC would be in a different city.
This year it would be traveling to either Seattle or San Francisco after a 3 part battle. A debate. A race. A gladiator battle.
This year, was going to be special.

Why I was chosen to be the Seattle Debater is well beyond me. I was the only person in Seattle who was actually arguing against hosting SSCXWC. Alas, my arguments fell upon drunk ears and the debate concluded with a beer in hand and a "Shut Up Sally. We're going to win it".
I'd go into the details of the debate...if I remembered.
I remember I was debating Shelia Moon of Shelia Moon fame.
I remember my superhuman ability to silence an entire crowd of enthusiastic Seattlites with a simple wave of my hand.
After that it seems I pulled a "Frank the Tank" and blacked out during the entire thing...and yet managed to pull off the victory.
Stevil cited..."Watching the debate was like getting hit in the balls with a chalkboard that had nails dragging across it."
And CyclocrossBuild (later reported in CXMagzine) said..."Fornes better fit the singlespeeder’s mindset...Fornes sported a cycling cap with a Seattle Sasquatch doing unsavory things to a Portland unicorn, quaffed a bunch of beer when asked about his favorite beverage, rides his company’s Raleigh Rainier, and spoke to this group’s longing for inclement weather. Combined with Fornes’ own energy and his enthusiastic entourage and Seattle looked to be gaining momentum early."

Again...I really don't remember much of it. Mainly because I was spending way to much time, and going through too many $ingle$ with these two...

The race reports are everywhere.
And while the Eskimos have some 30 different names for snow...the PacNW has the equivalent for mud. All the different kinds were present. It was everywhere. It got in everywhere.

Who really won this event? Hell if I know.

Gladiator Battle.
I don't know who the girl was that SF put into the thick of it all (mud)...but she was awesome! She survived the body slam heard round the Dome. A face full of mud. And multiple body bow-ties to emerge victorious.

It was glorious.

All things told...Seattle is hosting SSCXWC next year. Portland has made some big pants to fill over the last 3 years. But I think we've got the right stuff to fill'em.

Spread the word, and start your planning...I know we already are.

Friday, November 6, 2009

You Train Your Way...

And I'll train mine.

From the moment I pealed off my tight orange shorts last year, I've been shopping.
After the last trace of mud was finally removed some 30 days later, I've been in figuring out how to get it back in there.
The moment I sobered up and regained my composure, I found another beer. (duh)

Oh yes...SSCXWC is back upon me. And this year, I'm ready for it.

I've been refining my costumes...

Practicing my Beer Handups (I'm selfish and thirsty so I will not be participating in the popular HandDown that all those Stevil lemmings are practicing)

Searching out mud....

Flirting with trashy women...

Oh yeah...and riding my bike...a little bit.
(funny...I don't have any pictures of that...)

This weekend...the Power of Cross Compels me to bring my brand of Cross Religion to Portland and set up the school of Holy Cross. We're fully armed with enough Holy Water to drown a hippopotamus and will be setting up a confessional for all those Cross Sinners in PDX.

Look for us...and be saved.

A couple pictures are from MFG and PDXCross